Taking the first step in building better work relationships

Photo by Christina @ on Unsplash

We start out focusing on ourselves

I want to be seen.

I want to be heard.

I want to matter.

These are very deep yearnings of the soul. When they happen, they’re like magic, suddenly we come alive. When they don’t, I think the responses vary from person to person.

Some people (like me) get mad. Why won’t they all just shut up and listen to me? Why won’t they turn their attention from trivial things and focus on me and what I have to say.

Others are less petulant. They find coping mechanisms. They tell themselves it doesn’t really matter. I honestly don’t know whether they’re right or wrong. Others tell themselves that it’s just life…maybe we don’t deserve it…maybe it doesn’t happen for people like us.

What if we’re looking at it wrong?

But away from these regular responses, one cannot help but wonder…” what if we’re looking at it all wrong”? What if the real trick lies in trying to see people, instead of being seen? What if the true magic is in listening to others? I think it was Covey who said “seek first to understand before being understood”. The Golden Rule according to Jesus Christ is “do unto others as you’d have them do unto you”.

What if the true magic is in listening to others?

This means that we always have a choice. To adjust our posture, to change our disposition to one of true generosity. Where we chose to give first, before demanding to receive. Is there a risk that this approach won’t pay off? Certainly. But I think it might just be a better way of approaching work and life.

What would your life look like if you listened more? What would your relationships be like if you actively tried to make people feel seen?

Have some courage. Take the initiative.



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Babatunde Mumuni

Babatunde Mumuni

I think and write here about life as one continuous experience, not fragments stitched together. I believe that we should partake of this with our whole selves.